YES I AM SPAMMING. SUE ME.

[incognitobackup]

So I was poking around on the UCI site today, and I stumbled upon the productions that the drama department is putting on. (HERE)

I'm definately auditioning for the two non-musical plays (Still Life and Moon), mostly because I just did a musical and also because I don't have any songs currently under my belt.

Also, I think I've fallen in love with Judas Iscariot. I am TOTALLY auditioning for that one. I WANT TO BE THE SEXY FEMINIST DEFENSE ATTORNEY. It totally fits me. I was the lead defense in gov a couple months ago, I am a firm believer in Female Power, and I AM INCREDIBLY SEXY, DUH. Ahem. I think it could be totally awesome.

Anyway, I am starting to pick monologues. I don't know what they're going to want (classic/contemp, dramatic/comedic, etc), so I'm sort of putting together a set of three (classic, dramatic, comedic).

I don't know how many of you lovlies on my flist are involved with theatre, but I'm going to put the two monologues I have here and I'd like to see what y'all think of them anyway.

  
Think not I love him, though I ask for him.
'Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well;
But what care I for words? yet words do well,
When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.
It is a pretty youth: not very pretty:
But, sure, he's proud; and yet his pride becomes him:
He'll make a proper man: the best thing in him
Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue
Did make offence his eye did heal it up.
He is not very tall; yet for his years he's tall:
His leg is but so so; and yet 'tis well:
There was a pretty redness in his lip,
A little riper and more lusty red
Than that mix'd in his cheek; 'twas just the difference
Betwixt the constant red and mingled damask.
There be some women, Silvius, had they mark'd him
In parcels as I did, would have gone near
To fall in love with him; but, for my part,
I love him not nor hate him not; and yet
Have more cause to hate him than to love him:
For what had he to do to chide at me?
He said mine eyes were black and my hair black;
And, now I am remember'd, scorn'd at me.
I marvel why I answer'd not again:
But that's all one; omittance is no quittance.
I'll write to him a very taunting letter,
And thou shalt bear it: wilt thou, Silvius?


  
His eyes hurt me. They're all going to come home with that look of having been through things we know nothing about. How are we ever going to make it up to them? He came in here as if he didn't belong, as if he weren't sure. Florence, we were tongue-tied. We couldn't seem to say anything. And then I started going on about that damn fool lamp! It was the worst thing I couldk have done; it gave him the feeling that I didn't need him, I could get along without him. It isn't true, but I don't know how to make him know it! (Beat.) The coming back is almost as hard as the going away. Don't lets force it. It's a big thing, when a husband comes home from war. It hasn't happened to any of us before. We have to be patient with ourselves.

I did the Soldier's Wife one in drama last year. It's actually a comedy, but that scene is really emotional. Also, she had just been laquering chairs all day and so her brain cells are bound to be a little adled. I love that monologue. It's nice and short and I do it really well.

Now all I have to do is find a comedic monologue and I'm all set for fall auditions. I have one comedic that I ADORE and that I've done before, and which I think I'm going to use for the Judas Iscariot play. Oh hell, I'll just put it here, too. It's rather long. Don't say I didn't warn you.

  
Sir, I'm afraid you're going to have to check that... No, I'm afraid it clearly does not fit in the overhead compartment... Sir, your Buisness Class ticket does not entitle you to an entire overhead compartment... Sir, I'm afraid I can't ask them to do that... Yes, I know you paid more than they did, but you do get a slightly wider seat and-- I'm going to have to ask you to return to Business Class, sir... Give me the bag! Drop it! Drop it! Now, SIT!

Welcome aboard Northwest flight 19 with direct service from Minneapolis to Tokyo Narita. Our flight today will take approximately twelve hours and fifteen minutes.

Now I'm going to ask that you put down your newspapers, books, magazines, and knitting, take out the information card from the seat pocket in front of you, and follow along as we detail the safety features of this Boeing 757.

All of you.

Now.

32-B, just because you're in the middle, doesn't me I can't see you!

That's better.

There are eight emergency exits on this aircraft. Please take a moment to locate the exit nearest you, rememering that the closest exit may be behind you.

The closest exit may be behind you.

I do not see heads turning!

In the event that the cabin loses pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Place the mask over your mouth and nose, secure by pulling on the straps, and breathe normally. If you're travelling with small children, secure your own mask first.

And let the little beggars fend for themselvess.

In the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a floation device.

Did you know that no commercial aircraft has ever made a water landing in one piece? That means that the chances that you'll use your seat cushion are, well, none. However, if you do survive the impact-- which is about the same as hitting a concrete parking lot-- there may be a seat cushion floating near your. Place your arms through the straps and kick-paddle your way to shore. Which should only be about four hundred miles. In the event you reach the afterlife of your choice, there will be an entrance quiz on the safety features of this aircraft.

(Beat.) Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid that the captain has just informed me that we have indeed missed our takeoff window and we are now fifty-seventh in line for takeoff. Since we have pulled away from the terminal, we are going to ask that all passengers remain seated, with their seat belts firmly fastened, for the approximate three hours and forty-one minutes remaining to takeoff. We'll be distributing cookies, juice, and water to the passengers who can correctly identify the flight attendant serving them. Passengers with more than one carry on, children with video games that beep, and men who ask me if I want to join the Mile High Club will get nothing.

Thank you for flying with Northwest Airlines and let me say that I'm especially pleased to be sharing this, my very last flight with Northwest, with such a lovely group of passengers. I will not be returning to Minneapolis with you, but instead will be joining the White Path Temple in Shiga Prefecture to beging my studies as a Buddhist nun.

Please remember, my vow of non-violence does not begin until we land in Tokyo.

Enjoy your flight.

I love that monologue also. It's really long, but if I can keep up the energy (which is really my only problem-- I tend to rush it), I do it so well. It's so much fun to be completely bipolar!

Anyway, that's all. Tell me what y'all think :)

Comments

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

I love theatre. I'm trying to get a role in The Doll's House production at my school.

I love the last monologue. If I practice at it enough, and learn how to change my tone of voice and facial expression arupbtly, it would sound good and be real fun to do. I might steal it to use it when my class starts doing monologues. Would you mind?

More than anything though, I'm using The Doll's House production to find out if it's something I REALLY want to do. I just got this huge oppurtunity, but they told me that I should make sure to think it through because otherwise, all the hardwork I do or will do is going to be worth shit. I mean, if I become famous (and I don't mean this to be cocky or something like that, I just have no other way to describe it) and get bombarded by the papparazi or something like that, it's not going to be fun. I have to be doing it for the right reasons. Because I love it, not for fame or money or really hot guys, you know?

I'm sorry if that seems like too much information. I just... it kind of related to the topic.

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

I adore theatre ♥ And you can totally use that monologue, just as long as you're not going to my school XP It's such a fun monologue to do, if not a little long.

Have you done any productions before? I found out the first time I set foot onstage and got under those (extremely hot) lights that this was something I wanted to do. It's such hard work, but it's worth every moment of it. I've been in some really chaotic shows (what show isn't chaotic?), but it's exhilarating.

♥

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

Haha. Thanks. I sincerely doubt I am.

Well, I WAS going to do a monologue I wrote the year before, but I was really unsatisfied with it and my drama teacher was a horrible one and this and that... and she made everything so complicated... so I rehearsed once or twice and ended up not doing it because everything was such a horrible mess and not worth the effort I wanted to put into it. I mean, I wasn't going to perform a peice of crap that I wrote. If I hadn't been the one that'd written it, I'd have done it peice of crap or not but... when I write something that I know isn't worth reading or listening to I'd rather people not read it or listen to it, you know?

It IS exhilerating having people watch you while you do something you love (KINKY). I know from doing improv (which--although I am crap at the majoity of the time--is something I enjoy doing). But since I've never done it on stage and had the full experience... yeah.

I write WAY too much. I'm in a real typy mood today.

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

No worries ;P I'm always typy and long-winded.

It's always tricky doing original monologues, since auditioners (those who watch you audition?) generally prefer to see a published/performed piece. They like to see you being able to interpret a character, ya know? Which sort of sucks, to a certain extent cause you know what you can do and it's more fun to be original, etc.

XD KINKY INDEED. (I actually had a conversation with my theatre class about that-- most of us said we'd be okay with having sex on stage. Then someone brought up having sex in the net over the orchestra pit... We were a fairly dirty class >.>).

But seriously. Give it a try. Worst case scenario; it's not your thing. And there's so much time to figure out what your Thing is. It might not be stage acting, it might be film. Or it might be something else entirely. But you never know unless you try.

(Oh look, my cliche is showing...)

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

Good-ah (cheese). That makes me feel a lot less embarressed (I don't think I'll eveer learn how to spell that word).Well, the class asignment was to write your own monologue so I kinda had to.

It IS more fun to be original, but she didn't give us enough time to do so. Well, me enough time to do so. I need a week or two for something that I deem so important because I'm a perfectionist with my writing. I write like 5 five rough-drafts before the I'm satisfied and come up with the final draft. I'm such a freak.

That is so funny! Sex on the stage... sounds fun! LMAO.

You're so cheesy (I say that in the kindest way possible) (no, that wasn't sarcasm) (and besides, cheese is good!). But everything you say is true. You know, I don't know the difference between stage and film acting besides the obvious. What IS the difference?

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

>.> I typing that and I was like "Omg. I sound so cheezy and cliche. GUH."

I totally understand the time thing for creative things like that. I take SOOO long. And I'm a total perfectionist, too. It makes those sort of things tough :/

Stage acting is like... Everying BIG. Exaggerated. You have to be larger than life on stage, because you're little in comparason to to the stage and the theatre. On film, you can totally be more subtle. You can move your eye just a little bit, and the camera will catch you. Plus, there's more room for error, instead of on stage, where you just have to roll with whatever comes your way. You can be subtle on stage, but in a big way. If that makes sense >.>

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

Haha. (:

I'm only a perectionist for my writing and my bookshelf and my speech and things of that sort. I mean, I'm definitely not a perfectionist for ym room. I mean, it's a mess.

Well, my mom DOES say that I exxagerate a lot. Although I do enjoy beign subtle. I think I would enjoy both.

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

I'm only a perectionist for my writing and my bookshelf and my speech and things of that sort. I mean, I'm definitely not a perfectionist for ym room. I mean, it's a mess.

Are you me? I am meticulous about writing, my books, and (occasionally) my jewlery. But the rest of my stuff is like... EXPLOSION >.<

Give both a try :P Each one is great in their own way!

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

I'm only a perectionist for my writing...

Wow... I'm a perectionist for my writing. How ironic. **Perfectionist.

HAHA! We are so AWESOME.

I shall, I shall.

What was your first lead role?

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

*fails at typing*

SO AWESOME WE ARE. YES.

I was in a little musical, Robin Hood, and I was one of the main characters, basically the equivalent of Will Scarlet. Then in my Advanced Theatre class last year, I was the main character's BFF. I haven't had, like, a BIG lead role, but I totally will one day :P

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

I REALLY hope you do. I mean, you deserve it. You seem like you work hard and like a really nice person.

Hopefully, I'll get the lead role for this play. Nora. If not, I'll work backstage and try again next play.

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

Aww, you're so nice XD I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I rock the University auditions, but there's sooo much competition. I gotta beat out the grad students!!

You'll do great :D Aren't there other roles? What if you get another role? Will you still go backstage? 'Cause it doesn't hurt to start out with a small role.

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

I know! I mean thank you! (That was a joke.) (I don't mean to say it as if you're stupid. It's a just in case thing because sometimes people take me seriously.)

Well, grad students suck (until the time comes that you're a grad student). BOOO!

Well, yeah! Either way, I'm going to be involved, though I'd much rather be on the stage.

But, does it really happen like that? You try out for a lead role and they like you better for another one and give it you?

I'm sorry if these seem like really stupid questions, but I've never experienced anything. Not even try-outs.

It makes me sad...

):

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

Most of the time, if they don't pick you for a lead, they might cast you in a smaller role if they think you'd fit it okay. The problem with a lot of plays, is that directors type-cast someone into a role on looks or personality. Basically, they already have an idea of someone who would fit that role best. And if its not you, then you have a hard time of getting said part.

And don't worry, they're not stupid questions. It's just stuff you learn by doing it, or by asking those who've done it before. No worries :D

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, that's lame. If you don't make the effort, you'll never know, though.

(: You're super nice.

You know, in the fifth Harry Potter movie (I haven't seen it, but I'm familiar with the cast), I didn't like who they cast for Tonks. Or the way they did her hair.

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

Yay for nice?! XP I'm glad you think I'm nice :P You're nice too!

I didn't like Tonks either, but mostly because of her hair. PINK. PINK. PINK. It should have been PINK.

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

(((((:::

SERIOUSLY. PINK AND SPIKEY POR FAVOR! Freaking purple and long. ICK. You know she's Spanish? The actress. Did she even have the British accent?

OH! Can you do it? The accent?

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

Spanish? Really? I'd have to listen to her again.

Yep :D I can do accents. I can do classic British and I can do some Cockney, but I'm not as good at Cockney. I took a mini class at this confrence and this woman was amazing; she just went from Brooklynd to English to French to Russian... It was amazing. The trick is to study native speakers.

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

I can do most accents really well if I get into my character. Like the other day we were reading from streets, and it seemed to me like they were from New York and I got the accent. I was like, "AWESOME!" And I can do the British accent really well after I watch teh Harry Potter movies. And I THINK I can do zee French accent preety well, too.

Robin Williams is awesome with accents! He can ANYTHING.

Have you seen Chicago?

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I definately do the same thing. I'll come out of the theatre speaking in the Accent-of-the-Day. I can do most accents pretty well, but British is the easiest for me. I do really good imitations :P

YAY ROBIN WILLIAMS. I adore him. He was my first favorite actor.

I ♥ Chicago. It's onstage in my city today, actually. I really wanted to go, but I think it's sold out already.

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

I can do the chongalicious accent really well. (That's the like 'just arrived from a latin country and has really bad taste in clothes accent.) It's the easist for me.

(:

I HATE YOU! I want to see a Chicago show... Then again, it kinda sucks to be so close and not be able to see it. I sound just like Roxie Hart when I sing the song. I LOVE IT.

[incognito323.livejournal.com]

I WANT TO SEE IT SO BAD. But I'm afraid I can't, which is really too bad. I love singing those songs; they're so much fun. Which one is your favorite?

[fatalxbeautee.livejournal.com]

My favorite to sing is Roxie and my favorite to listen to is All That Jazz, and my favorite to watch is Cell Block Tango. The choeography(I KNOW I didn't spell that one right) was amazing in the movie.

How about choo?